So it's shiai season, which means that practice is abbreviated by shiaigeiko nightly, only to run long as the matches wear on. I reflect on the last two practice matches I had.

It's always tricky, these dojo-based matches, because everyone is watching and so you not only really want to do your best, but will see these people very soon again. It's also tricky because sometimes it's better as the underdog, since you've got less rep to lose that way.

Tuesday, the match was against a Korean kohai who is quite good at the shiai-style of practice and has a lightning fast kote. Tired as I was, I revved myself up with plenty of kiai, and from that point of view dominated the match, at one point pushing him back in tsubazeriai on the strength of my kiai alone. The first point was a hiki-men which I scored, and it did actually feel like a point to me, with plenty of backwards momentum to boot. I was satisfied with that but then we ended up exchanging blows which were ineffective, until, on the turn-around, he hit my kote with me barely noticing. That was typical for me--overthinking when I have the lead.

Thursday, the match was against another nidan who may or my not be more senior than me--he comes from our LI sister dojo, so who knows. I did my usual overthinking--he tends to be like our branch sensei in his low kamae and the way in which he tends to hit the upper corner of the men while sailing away real fast. Not too long into the match this is what he does. Sensei remarks that this point probably would count in shiai but was a little on the soft side. I am waiting, heart-pounding, in kamae before nihonme as this is said. It is a tough moment. But then with hajime, I stop thinking--much less than before at least--and before long I have scored, one, two kote. The second felt especially good, I think some species of degote, and I definitely felt the impact. Somehow, then, I managed to win the match.

I need to keep going on this--the advice Sensei gives--maximum power in the abdomen, kata-5 style high-lifting, and maximum tightness in the last two fingers--are things I will try to continue to do...