Tonight was a real ass-kicker, led by Sensei himself. My cough didn't help matters, and neither did the humidity, and my perhaps over-hydration (68oz diet pepsi, 20oz diet coke, 0.5L Poland Spring), meant that for the first time in a while my back ached, my head was too tight, and I was not looking forward to the quintuple kakarigeiko designed to reinforce the lessons of tame yet again--through drills like men- turn and counter-men, and deliberate kirikaeshi. In any case, I got my ass kicked repeatedly. Sensei also is befuddled by my perpetual overtightness after every uchi--not enough tenouchi--he claims it might just be my personality.

Shiai had a whole lot of different teams from all over, including the ludicrously name but quite formidable Asian Samurai's. On E-team, we fell against the Panamanians, my chuken opponent le gusta luchando con los manos muy alto, gritando muy alto, pero sin ninguna oportunidad para ippon. Trataba hiki-do, sin suerte. Unfortunately, we lost because had we won we could have faced the Sith Lords--the all jodan team. There's always next time (another ten years?) and the only regret was that I was feeling so overheated and tired that I had to skip out on godo-geiko.

Saturday's practice purported to be shiai-focused, but instead did all ten kata, leaving only forty minutes for both mawari-geiko and shiai-geiko. In the latter I did rather all right, scoring two men right out of the gate, but against a returnee after a long absense--one I didn't even recognize, which makes it probably two years. The overall emphasis was again on tame--and I probably could use a littl emore of that....

The nap I snuck in between work and bonus-shiai-geiko today was quite welcome--it gave me plenty of energy for keiko, which was short and to the point: warmups, men-tsuke, nisoku men, kote-men, and then sanbon-shobu, ippon-shobu, and then shiai-geiko.

In my match against a sempai, I managed to get him out of bounds twice for ippon. Not very elegant, but really good enough. It's shiai after all, though Long Island Sensei would like to remind us not to be upset if we lose--in shinken kendo, you either live or die. And if you die, it's really too late to be upset...

Although the emphasis on staying in kamae, right elbow bent and close to the body, of using shidachi kendo rather than uchidachi kendo, even in shiai, was helpful, the problem with a practice which is mostly shiai-geiko is that at the end, one's legs hurt for the wrong reason and one's just not sweaty enough for all the trouble of putting on bogu.

It's ironic that my first missed post--for Sunday, 21 May 2006, was actually for two practices. First a regular session led by Jr. Saturday Sensei and then a shiai-focused keiko--shiai, fine-tuning, more-keiko. I was a little sickly, somehow, sniffly and coughy and tired behind the eyes, and back-hurtying by the end quite a bit, so both performances were subpar, and the shiai was especially frustrating--not a single ippon in sight, and I just felt like a slob. At least mawari-geiko was fast, so I played plenty of people. Jr. Sensei says I should cut less like a farmer, Almost-godan Sensei said that I need to cut smaller, and Sensei just said the usual--must relax, or I'll never make any progress at all.

The Other Tuesday Sensei showed up tonight after a long absence, leading us through an hour of kihon, an hour of mawari, and then shiai-geiko. We who are on deck this weekend got two rounds. Others got one, or none. I didn't do so well, dropping a kote right up from sonkyo, and then not being able to pick up any points off of my new friendly Korean nemesis. My immediate sempai and I went at it for a while, and I made contact, but not crispily enough, and eventually he drew me in for two men. Don't be uchidachi!!!

Three more practices till shiai...

Saturday Sensei didn't show, so we had lots of kata, all the way from tachi 1 to kodachi 3, the last three rather fast and not hands-on. With bogu though we did kirikaeshi and kakarigeiko--love that kakarigeiko, followed by mawari-geiko in which I did piddling-well and then shiai-geiko, in which I was told I held my own, but still lost to a men which Sensei later acknowledged was a little too light.

I really got my ass kicked today. I was so tired I was feeling asleep standing around in my bogu. Tuesday Sensei came on Thursday again. This is very confusing to me as well. It was a pretty standard practice, with no real insihgt, just a desire to survive. I managed to practice against two sensei today, including Speedy Sensei who now has his own dojo in Jersey. I was told to relax and not to relent. I sort of lost my temper a little, but not in a bad way--just an explosive burst at the end. Other than that, it was just exhausting, hot, and sweaty--chest tight and head tight from a men perhaps tied to tight, though plenty of monomi.

Having missed a whole week for reasons domestical, I returned sweatily today, to several Sensei speeches but it all felt al ittle disconnected and I was even tighter and tenser than usual today, I'm told. One speech was that you should come to practice even if--especially when you're sick--that's how you get better (unclear whether this means at kendo or health). The other was lower body in attacking--we should be like the Hottentots, even though our butts are not the right size for all that.... The rest of tonight focused mostly on kihon men with kiai, then tame and one of Sensei's hachidan test's morals--he successfully hit a beautiful shikake harai men, but didn't have enough shinsa-jo to do full zanshin, meaning that he turned around quickly and as a result got whacked on the men, and had the point canceled. Therefore we practiced reattacking as soon as we turned around from a successful men.

My kirikaeshi, however, seriously needs work, as the tame-style kirikaeshi is somehow just ugly for me--bad contact, sloppy angle, and so on.

Tame, Sensei says, is not accumulation, but rather the fixed, immovable principal of a bank account that is never depleted.

It felt generally like a Thursday, and turnout was like a Saturday. Sensei took over after a while, and we focused on kihon-uchi, in particular tame--the accumulation of ki which should take place after every strike, even in nidanwaza such as kote-men. With uchikomi practice (men, kote, do, kote-men, kote-do) the ki should build, pushing down into the tanden (which, as Sensei points out, is something Westerners can't do--their power is too high, but every Oriental does know), growing and not breaking, but also not rushing but coming to kamae each time. Meanwhile, I was at least complimented for remaining erect during the dreaded SAR ashi-sabaki drill.

In keiko, I am still too tense, especially after the strike. Soft Sensei says I should really attack more, what with being kohai and more. Equipment-sempai says I ought to keep up the enthusiasm, but relax. Focus on the positives rather than getting frustrated when an attack does not work out. Straight up the center!!

Sensei returned today, with a story and a moral from his most recent test. He said that he had done quite well throughout, but that's just enough. Unfortunately, his second partner was weak, so when Sensei used his kiseme, his opponent flinched, stepped-back, but Sensei followed. In so doing, he became uchidachi, rather than shidachi, and therefore lost.

Sunday Sensei special was always welcome, but I felt very winded after kakarigeiko. My kote-men is shit. I don't know--it used to be more frequently successful, but then maybe my standards are higher. I'm told in particular that on ura-harai-do, I should not lift my arms at all--just use my wrists to really spin that shinai before striking. Even in kakarigeiko, my objective should be to strike from a dead standstill--more explosiveness, rather than sloppy momentum.

Tonight I barely made it on time, and felt a little "weak" throughout, although I guess I was able to pour it on when it came to pratice against newly-godan Sensei and Regular Sensei--still, I'm told to work on kote-men especially, the relaxation and rhythm after landing kote rather than getting all tense and hopeless. My kote still needs to be more determined. Still, I was complimented for being very aggressive and present today. I just need to stop lingering in "no-man's land," closer than chika-ma, after the strike.

Dealing with kohai, however, continues to be difficult... Maybe my debana-waza is just off, though.